Pursue My Dream

super long never post

2010-03-21T21:34:00.000-07:00

i was baptised yesterday and i feel so good. haha
i and so happy that i can follow jesus and know god. i am so afraid that i will fall in to the world and not get up. i am so fortunate and i am not stupid anymore.

so blessed

2009-05-29T02:27:00.000-07:00

i am so blessed to have good frens around me. they are so considerate and thoughtful. they love to recieve comment so as to sharpen themselves into a better person. for some girls who are hostile, i believe that it is the frens they mixed with cause them to behave like that. perhaps they think that they were once popular, therefore when the group was seperated, every one of them look so blunt. is it because they think people dislike them as they were once arrogant? i am not sure. perhaps they think that their action(not communicating to other students) is to show that they are still standing?, strong enough? or not alone, dun need companion?
why must they be like that? is it so hard for us to exchange an amiable greeting? the whole problems lies on a word. that is PRIDE, our sku motto. PRIDE can be a good word but can be bad either. if a person is too prideful, it would be difficult that person to learn something good from others becoz they may feel shameful for not knowing it. but 各有千秋, not everyone have knowleadge on that, a reason why we must learn from others. however, 见贤思齐焉，见不贤而内自省也. we should analyse first before following or else we will soon led astray by our fellow frens.
next monday o level chinese lei.i would like to 借此机会 to practice my chinese vocab. 可见，水能载舟亦能覆舟, internet can be misuse. so i have to curb myself from doing that and make good use of the computer.
正所谓：“近朱者赤，近墨者黑”。frens can really impact a person's character and personality. especially in the secondary school which many of us require companions to endure the hardship for 4 or 5 years. the fren we be with may determine our result and even the future. For example, if my frens are good, kind and considerate, i think i shall do reflection in my wrongdoings and expect myself to be like them. but if my fren is playful, what should i do? join them lor........ they are not worry about their study anyway.............so why should i? But whether it is a good gang or a bad gang, definately there is a smarter person who started it.

thankyou frens for being a good "starter". thankyou all very much for being such good frens and thnks sharpening me although i am still a blunt one, but soon be sharp. and i will make the air bleed:D

fustrated with the class just now ; having a special teacher

2009-04-24T04:05:00.000-07:00

today's e math mock exam were interesting.
i am so glad that i know how to do the questions, but big tummy lim says that it is common that everyone can do, it is the careless mistake that
differentiate the grades. some questions were taught by jess. today, i successfully applied, but dunno right or wrong.
ha!

however, i didn't get to finish the whole paper. I know it clearly that i am slow, ppl take 1h45 mins to finish, i need 3h becos i have forgotten all the fomulas or in fact dunno them at all.
although there is not much time left from the O,
but still learn them one by one without wasting much time.
i am so grateful to have jess such a fren to teach me and lend her completed paper to me, helping me to rewind. sometime she will teach me till vomit blood, but thanks to her.
i have learn many e- maths things from her.

Anyway the very main thing is.... the class was getting too noisy. it was at first the other classes students outside the classroom shouting aloud.
but soon it was not the outside. but turned the inside.
they were not being considerate by doing that. although most of our classmates are clever ppl and fast worker who may have long-finished the paper, but what about those who are slower? we can't assumed that everyone had alr finished and was just waiting for time to be up and therefore make noises for fun and entertainment.
other ppl although minority will get somehow distracted.
So what if it is a mock exam? this incident made me feel that even us, SEC5, 17 year old student require a teacher to discipline us.

I have also understand why big tummy lim always being "Unreasonable" ( but in fact he is not that bad) towards us. he have his unique way of treating his student. esp those who "WEIRD BLUE" (in hokkien) no matter how weird your blue is, it will never be weirder than his. although i am not that weird blue, i am always not comfortable talking to him because i realise that he dun really trust student and is too confident of his assumption. i might not be able to take it when someone talks to me as if i am a bad person who cannot be trusted at all. this is becoz i hate ppl who cannot be trusted. that's why i dun wan to communicate with him much to prevent such thing happen again. overall he is a good teacher:D i still like him as a teacher.

i am clear that i am A STUDENT in his class, and he is a LAW BY LAW teacher who cannot be offended but can take jokes. he is clear about all the rules and regulations in the sku and had fully learn all the smelly pattern of students. so better not try to be a "SMART" student who debate with him unless u are full of confident and clear of understand and purpose in school. maybe its because his previous classes are too mischievous causing him to lose faith in students.

i was once very disappointed by his action.
the action's message sent to me was " sorry, i can't believe you." when it was a time that i tell him something that is true, but often being used by other student as an excuse.
during that moment i feel that the world is forcing us to tell lies because many can't believe students can be honest. i hold on to my emotion, trying to cool myself down.
Out of no where, he ask me to go and talk to him.
before he say anything, i cried. he was very surprise and ask me why am i crying.
i was a little angry and disappointed towards him becoz i look high up on him. but now i understand. but cannot blame him. just like a child who does not have a good family, we can't blame the child for being ill-discipline.

from there onwards, he thought that i am a gu niang who is very afraid of his fierceness.
Please la!!!! fierce so what? if u are nothing to me, u fierce to me untill u burst i also no effect arh.....

In fact i am really afraid of his melodious voice that might one day break my ear drum.....

渴望 romantic night

2009-04-24T03:23:00.000-07:00

today i saw the 传说中的扁猫。
i feel so painful to imagine me as that cat.
after talking to jess and reb, to my surprise that they think that frenz cannot get romantic!!!
i love to be romantic, even when i am alone.
i dun like crowded. warm, humid, bright and noisy place.
that they i stayed over at grandma house. whole night didn't sleep well, feeling very bad because i can't finish my homework. so eat a cup of noodle early before the sunrise and went to the bus stop to wait for bus 163. i was alone, no one is around.
i feel tired but soon relax after seeing the curvy moon very bright star accompanying me. i really feel that they are comforting me.
i love them. they are so peaceful, lovely and sweet.
thanks God for creating them:D
sometime i really hope that somebody will be there for me ever ready.
i want to go a lot of places, do a lot a lot of things, but there are so many restriction.
i am too young to do certain things that i want to, i am not resourceful enough to get to the places i want.
i will easily get lost at the places that i am not sure.
i always tell ppl around me " wait till i am rich......." whenever i sees something i like.
but from the current situation, the moment is far from sight.
Why are we still so young.......... we need to study....... actually is quite funny that something you want is always beside u when its not yours.
unfortunately, this is common not only to me.

Love

2009-04-03T03:35:00.000-07:00

HEY frenz!

dun stupid stupid harm urself. u r just being selfish by doing that.

there are three person that i am worry an concern.

one of them is the one that dun allow others to care for, and refuse to listen.
thus causing ppl not to concern about her.
WORSE, dunno how to answer her questions.
we are trying to help, in fact teacher have been asking us to help,
but WHAT CAN WE DO?
is not that we frens dun concern about her, but the fact is that she dun allow herself to be concerned. I was once angry with her.
but now we are still fren. recently i can see that she is stress about her sku work, but me as well....not doing very well

another one is the one that is easily distracted, cannot concentrate, too hyper,
want talk to her also difficult. but fortunately, she is hard working and self conscious.
everytime try her best to understand what the teacher said.
sometime she will come to me and cry that she have not been fruitful and couldn't manage her time well. she can be very funny and stupid.
but sometime too emotional.

the last one is the one that i have not talked to her for quite some time,
she's okay still but she is drifting apart from the ppl around her.
going out with ppl who does not give a good impression.
thus many ppl misunderstood her.
i am very concern about her.
recently i overheard somethings that
related to her from my beloved frens.
but no matter what is it,
i will not say it out as it would affect their relationship.
i hope that they be together like they were
because they are my dear frens.
this person is one of my good fren,
my heart aches went she is suffering.

The best scenario in sku except good results is to have all my good frens together,
laughing very happily.

2009-01-02T21:03:00.001-08:00

skinny witch and eye monster

fish

do i look like Rasputia?

its so fun! do i look fat?

sinful world

2008-12-27T06:40:00.000-08:00

there are more and more ridiculous, horrible and scary things happening in this world.
MUST WATCH NEWS MORE OFTEN!

In a certain part of china, there is a tradition where all females must expose one side of their breast to all the males in yun nanthe other side must be kept for their husband or future husband. on this particular day which they named it 摸奶节（touch breast festival).,the females must be happy to be touched by the male becoz it represents 吉利 and the males who touch must be glad as it represent 吉祥。

this is a interesting news. but all this things are bad. i personally feel that the people on that place are being deceived by the person who invented this festival. they've made it so rigid and make it a must for all of them. they are going against god. i believe the invention of this festival got to do with the devils who are able to throw negative thoughts and imagination into people. trying to destroy the world, setting people apart from god:C

recently,that place got earthquake! what a coincident!
GOD can't tolerate sin! I just heard the news!

the visit of shayne

2008-12-27T06:15:00.000-08:00

today, we went to visit jill's daughter, shayne. she grown up so much! she is very attracted to barney. when she wake up, she took almost all her barney cd for us and want us to play. so cute, she likes to sit on the cd and under the fan. but she is very well-disciplined:D she love to eat rasins, but she was limited. hahaha! i finally got to see her sister, tricia who is a new born baby. she is very fragile, i dun dare to carry her. jill is a ex-care teacher in pei hwa. but now she is our friend:D
after the visit, we went to eat popeye at terminal 1. it was nice! esp its mashed potatoes and fries!
chat chat and then go home.

与变态相逢

2008-12-25T19:51:00.000-08:00

yesterday, at 1020am, i alight from 163 bus to the bus stop near my grandmother's house.

i need to walk pass a deserted street which was a sku carpark previously.

but the sku had closed down, so there was nothing.

while i was walking, a malay man wearing red walk pass me.

we walked on the same path and i walked behind him. the person went to one corner and bend down, keep saying that his leg is painful.

i ignored him coz i dunno wat he was doing. then he shouted "miss! my leg pain.

very pain. come and help me.

" then i walk nearer to him and said " ok i help u call ambulance."

i took my phone out.

he very nervous and say "its ok now, can u come and pull me?"

then i start to suspect.

where got gentleman dare to ask a stranger girl to help him massage his leg wan.........?

then i replied " my sister is stronger, i ask her to come."

then i phone my cousin sock.

he very very nervous and say "i am ok. just cancel it." then i say." i go off alr huh."

he said nothing. then he suddenly " miss!" again.

i turn and he show his ki ki bird to me ang shake shake shake ask me to massage.

at first i dunno wat is tat. i am very confuse, how come leg pain can stand so still?

then i dunno that he show me his ki ki, i stare 5 sec then react. hahaha! slow hor.

so，i shake my...................................... what do u think?

Hand la! and say no. and walked off. Cool right :D

then the stupid man leg not pain alr, can walk.

i go back i tell my grandmother, she angry and say how come i never chop him off.

wa lau! how to chop man.............. i almost belive him ar. but i always remember how a gentleman behave:D

atw, the pervert kiki looks like 蜡笔小新wan. 一点也不想传说中的鸟鸟。。。。。。有毛。

他一丁点儿都没有，还敢拿出来炫耀。

time not enough!

2008-12-22T17:54:00.000-08:00

i got promoted!:D

this means i will have to spent a lot ALOT OF TIME STUDYING next year.

i hope that i can cope.

my relative keep saying i can do it, have confident in me.. i think they also very worry lor.

haha!

i must first dicipline myself becoz my time management is very bad.

i am afraid that i might not have enough time to do well in the subjects esp eng.

i must go home straight to study after sku everyday next year. OH MY GOD! it only a few days to go!

two mind i 1 body

2008-12-01T17:19:00.000-08:00

i feel so tired on the sunday service................

i wish not to go there. its far and idiotic. at there, i have very little patient and strength to sing song there and actually did not really go and listen to what is the lyrics. i sing sing sing, after a while, i found myslf not singing, so i sing sing sing again, and then the same thing happen.i feel like i am forcing myself.

but somehow my mind just wan to listen to songs like tat. i feel like dun care. but something (dun know wat) in my body wan to talk to him lei..........sometimes i wan to run away by not talking to him becoz very mafan but the thing is i cannot run away from the fact that he is true and he helped me. i also realised that the things that he dun allow us to do can reduce future potential sinning activities.

recently, i see many cases of family problem cause by being unforgiving, holding on to grudges, having hatred, being self-centred, greediness and misunderstanding as they counldn't forgive and sit down to make it clear.

the bible says its ok or even be glad to be looked down or despised by the ppl because u are going through the similar things the jesus went through.

so, do love them too.

but i love dogs than human.......

i must reorganise my heart alr hahaha!

I will love him more

2008-11-27T20:02:00.000-08:00

jesus love us. so we must love back.

he is generous, we must not be ngeow

he helped me to shower alone in the chalet. so touching.

he helped me to get rid a lot of fear in me. reducing my worries, increasing my confident, helping me to gain friendships and forgive others. although songs for the worship is not nice, but still must sing to him because he like to listen. however, i dunno how to sing a lot of them. the church everyime change songs. this week this, next week that. as a result, i learned nothing. hahaha!

i paiseh paiseh lei~

go away

2008-11-27T19:56:00.000-08:00

run away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fly away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

swim away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to sock

2008-11-27T19:37:00.000-08:00

if i say, u might not understand.
if i dun say, u misunderstand.
when i talk to u, i dunno how to express.
yesterday u called me while i was talking with my friend.
so, i move away to a quite environment, sitting beside the swimming pool, ready to talk to u, u ask me what u asked me in the smses, but i forgot wat u asked. i ask u to ask me again, u dun wan. i really dun understand y u dun wan to ask on the phone lei. u asked me whether i am busy, i say no, but u dun believe. u say u busy. i doubt it. if u really busy, why u ask me to call u?
u tends not to believe me in certain things lei. dun like that lei.
so sorry that i forget to reply ur smses.
what should i do?

2008-10-27T02:11:00.000-07:00

专辑:做自己
BY: 同恩
SONG: Do They See Jesus In Me

is the face that i see in the mirror
the one i want others to see
do i show in the way that i walk in my life
the love that you've given to me
my heart desires to be like you
in all that i do all that i am

do they see jesus in me
do they recognize your face
do i communicate your love
and your grace
do i reflect who you are in the way i choose to be
do they see jesus in me

its amazing that you'd ever use me
but use me the way you will
help me to hold out a heart
of compassion and grace
a heart that your spirit fills
may i show forgiveness and mercy
the same way you've shown it to me

well i wanna show the world
that you are the reason i live and breathe
so you'll be the one that they see
when they see me

All the coincidence?

2008-10-24T18:33:00.000-07:00

my life is full of failure. even if succeed, it is meant for failure. at the beginning, i tot that i am just pessimistic and thinking too much. but it happen and happen again to prove me wrong. a simple thing like buying a newspaper in the ntuc caused me to spent 30 mins just to ruin my plan of reaching home by 8 30pm. the person in front of me bought products that dun have tag to scan. the cashier aunt run here and there, spent lots of time. this is not the first tym that such thing happen to me. such incident happened to me is more than 4times, its quite incredible. some dun believe. buying a simple sweet can spent more than 20mins queuing at a counter with three or four person in front. that is just an example. there are damn lots of incidents and i believe, many of it is waiting to happen in the future. i will overcome it, hope that the one that have the unlimited ability will help me.

The Death of Ah Girl

2008-08-14T05:06:00.000-07:00

My Ah girl died on the 10th of August 2008, 7.42pm. The needle was really powerful. Girl sleep immediately after the injection. Girl's family and I is still very sad. Her owner told me tat she will think of Girl when ever she eat Girl's favorites fruits, apple.

Ah girl is really a good dog. she is very funny. that time her owner wipe the floor, the floor is wet and Girl didn't know that.

u know what?

she stupidly jump down from the sofa to the floor and fell down. the way she fell was really funny. u can't imagine that.

Ah Girl will drool when ever she see some one eat. she will stand at a very obvious position to show u her presence. Her purpose is to wait for u to feed her.

she get along well with anyone especially me and her family. Although i am not really her family, she treated me as well as her family. i am very sure about this. i will always show her things that her family never did. i put her in front of the mirror, she got no reaction. but i realize that when i carry her in front of the window, she seems to be enjoying the scenery. i felt satisfied when i saw her turn her head from right to left eagerly.

whenever she saw me, she will always be happy. Girl will always wait for her brother no matter how late it was.

10th of august, 6.35pm, i was trying to find her because she usually stays at the living room. i search the place twice and then found out that she vomited blood at the secret corner of the brother's room. it is fresh bloods and blood clots. tat is the last time she vomited we then immediately sent her to the hospital. the doctor said that her condition is very serious. she was having womb infection. In addition, her kidney was not functioning well and she was old. there was two choices for the owner(my aunts) . 1st choice is to give Girl an operation to remove her womb which was the main cause of her sickness. the condition is to overall ford out around $2000 . the chance of success of the operation is 70% but for Girl's survival was only 50%. We dun wan to torture Girl anymore, so decided to put her to sleep. I really can't bear her. But that is the best decision. My aunt is the most pitiful wan. she was having a really really hard time making the decision. she even wanted to let Girl go under operation as she almost reget her decision when she saw Girl .at that time, Girl still give her the innocent eyes to make my aunt cry. Girl accompanied her for more than ten years. i know my aunt is angry about something, depress about Girl's death. Luckily she is now okay. i just talk to her on the phone. she seems to accept the true of girl's death, but still crying.

her previous vomits was a lot. she lick twice water, vomited the volume of a big cup. i was curious, so asked my cousin where did the substance come from? she say that that maybe the chemical reaction in her stomach. i was even more confuse and just dun understand.
it was a pity tat her brother and sister did not manage to see her the last time. both of them were extremely upset. well........ they are still crying.

it is a sad thing. but that is already the best we can do. i know that i will never understand the feeling of Girl's Brother and Owner. they seem that they have regret that they did something wrong thing at first. i have did my part of loving Girl and caring for her. i only pity that i can never touch her anymore. i should not be greedy anyway. haha.

i will love Girl always

today is tiring

2008-07-19T04:20:00.000-07:00

yesterday was the best birthday i ever had. Although i was being tricked stupidly, i am not angry at all because their purpose is good. Their plan was very successful. i really appreciated. thank you people who involves in giving me all the surprises, esp reb and joan and joan's parents. i hope that people really enjoyed the fun yesterday. Thanks joan for staying up even though her brain was dead. i know joan and reb have been busy preparing things for my birthday, also thank xt and miao.

jess, eleen, cheryl, ms tong and ms li are very very super good actress.act until like dunno my birthday and why never tell them my birthday............... aiya! all craps to distract me from discovering the surprise. Only Rence is innocent

I wanted to eat dinner, but eleen keep sa jiaoing say want shopping, want talk to me, want buy drinks..........and brings me walk rounds at compass aimlessly...............dun wan have dinner..............say wan to wait for reb's group to " settle" their negotiation with the gang.The stupid reason i cant go is because i was too impulsive( tats wat they told me).
Reb? i dun wan say, but i cant believe tat the smart joan will agree to negotiate with the brainless ppl. These is the suspicious part. Trying to delay time.

when i reach the place near joan's block, i saw many foods and drinks lying around the place and three dog walking in the circular ..........dunno how to say.........with no other ppl around. i was wondering who so lang fei, anyhow throw food and rest dogs to shit. then i open my eyes wider, i realized that the dogs were reb and joan's wan! Silver, Bobo and Brownie! Suddenly i few head pop out from the circular wall and shouted "Happy Birthday!". they were XT,ML, joan and Reb!
Those few pigs who bring me there were laughing at the side. But so sorry T.T my attention was all on the dogs.Eleen and Reb know tat i scared ghost, they accompany me. i very happy. i am also very shock tat Anzeal is coming too( the same lian group with eleen). she came late because......(i dunno)but i am even happier tat she come coz i thought i will never see her after she leaves the sku and was actually quite sad la. i really very touch to see they all are happy, but silver was unhappy,Bobo and Brownie have place to rest but she dun have. fidgeting unhappily. i was selfish.

My forever wish is to see ppl being considerate for others which mean i will also be happy and have trueful friends to point out my bad points for me to improve or decide whether to change it or not. My best present is the surprise and the organization that all of u have given me. the gift tat rence gave me i will experiment it out. the gift that jess gave me i will keep it well coz got hard work and some mischievous and i will not put it under the boiling kettle..........Haha. The gift that Anzeal gave me i will protect it well and make sure it is clean and comfortable living with me although the environment is a bit messy.

Thank you Yu Hui ................. and many ppl who congratulated me for living over 16.

AIYA! i very very thank you la.

你们开心我就开心，
最大的礼物就是你们的祝贺，